Two Funerals, A Wedding and a Baby

Today we came home from our house fellowship and found out that our 89 year old neighbor, Pak Lapin, had just passed away at 1 pm. We were quite shocked as he had been fine and we had just seen him two days prior sitting on his front porch, as always, waving and smiling to us as we drove in or out of our driveway. The four of us nicknamed him “grandpa” and each day was not complete without his waving to us. When Nick and I walk, we often stop and talk to him-he would always take my hand and pat it, which is not really common for a Javanese man but I  think it just showed his sweetness and love for people. His son said that Pak Lapin didn’t care who you were, he treated all people the same!

When we arrived home we went directly over to the house and the body was being bathed. There were probably around 20 neighbors surrounding the body that was on a cart and they were taking care of him for the family. Then, they wrapped him in white cloths and put him on a table in the living room where he will be watched by someone until the funeral and burial at 10 tomorrow morning. I will try and go to the funeral but Nick leaves for Sumatera in the morning so Luke offered to go with me. I think this showed me how special Pak Lapin was to us because it sure is not normal for a 15 year old to offer to go to a funeral, especially one here, even if it means getting out of school. It will be a Muslim funeral so there will be a short service and then the family, friends and neighbors will walk with the body to the graveyard, about ½ kilometer away where they will bury him.    

Pak Lapin was one of the pillars of our small community and his loss will be felt for sure. But his was not the only funeral we recently attended was the grandfather of a friend of our kids here in the neighborhood passed away about a week and a half ago. He was probably in his late 70’s and was a man who had converted to Christianity after being imprisoned for 6 years in the 60’s for supposedly being a member of the communist party (you can look up Indonesian history to understand that is`was common for a poor farmer to join for practical, not ideological reasons).  Mas Yohanes, the grandson, shared this story with Nick as we sat in the room with his grandfather’s body. I never was one to really like seeing dead bodies (don’t know who really does like seeing dead bodies), but being in this country has given me much more experience in this area than I ever imagined.

A couple of weeks ago we attended a wedding in our small neighborhood as well. The area leader's son was married. These ceremonies can go on for a bit so since it was close to our house, we listened to what was being said over the loud-speaker (yes, loud-speaker that was on for at least 2 to 3 days with all kinds of Javanese and Indonesian music...definitely time to use those handy-dandy earplugs) and waited to head over to the outdoor ceremony until we knew it was close to being finished. I know this doesn't sound very courteous but you would have to step into our "foreigner" shoes to understand. Weddings and ceremonies here are very different from our "American" way. They are very long, involve a lot of sitting and inhaling  smoke from the smokers and can be hot if you get seated where there is no shade. So, we have to be strategic at times in how we do the neighborly thing. As it turned out we did get there just for the end, in time to be served lunch and to shake hands with the bridal party. :) Pretty good timing if you ask me. 

On another happier note is that one of our friends had a baby...this is their third son and i just had to show you some of the cute pics we got to take of him. :) He is a cutie. 

P.S. Luke and i did attend part of Pak Lapin's funeral...it was very well attended by the neighborhood and others. I can't drive into our home without thinking of Pak Lapin and missing him dearly. He definitely was one of the joys of living here...tomorrow (Sunday) will be the 7 day after death ceremony, part of the Islamic culture here. Food is already being prepared and the neighbors will gather once again to remember Pak Lapin and hope that he is on his way to another place.