I woke up yesterday and it seems that I am beginning to
allow myself to feel something about moving in this coming year. There has been
a part of me that was trying to keep a lid on my emotions and put off feeling
about the upcoming transition. But, yesterday as I was making my coffee, I
looked at the two jars that hold the coffee and the sugar. The jars are really
not that special, just glass jars with blue lids and a latch on them. As I was
going about making the coffee I realized that these jars will most likely not
follow us to the U.S. and it made me sad. It really seems trivial to be
thinking about jars but it made me look around the kitchen and realize how many
of the things, familiar things, that I have been using for the past 15-20 years
that will not be following us back to the States. That was a hard reality. Some
of those tears that have been held behind the wall begin to trickle out.
Later that morning I got to skype with my very wise
daughter! She knows about transition and moving back to the U.S. better than I
do in a lot of ways. She had just returned from Urbana and was sharing some of
the things that impressed her and that she learned. It was exciting to hear
what is going on in her heart. I shared with her about the jars and she very
wisely talked with me about the need for the familiar. It is not necessarily
bad to need the familiar and going through transition it will be something that
we may need. I guess it will come down to choosing wisely. I guess I get a bit
hung up though between holding loosely onto things, because really they are
just things, and the need for the familiarity. Annaliese shared about a friend
who was walking with her at the end of their trip. They had to move hotels and
were lugging their bags with them on a mile long walk to the new hotel. Her
friend looked up at one point and said, “I guess I understand why Jesus tells
us to leave everything behind to follow Him. Stuff is really heavy.” Again wise
words. Stuff is heavy and it can drag us down. How much do we really need?
So in the midst of this transition I am praying for wisdom
in how to balance leaving stuff behind because it is heavy and can drag me down
but also sensing that I may need the familiar to help me through this huge
transition we are being called to! Something I am sure I will be pondering in
the months ahead!
P.S. If you would like to see some pics from our latest vacation to Lombok area, here is the link: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10152394849300165.947534.711050164&type=1&l=acb6b56218
3 comments:
I love you, and I am definitely praying for you as you're heading into this next transition. The holding loosely and the comfort of the familiar are two things that Josh and I have talked about a lot with our transitory life style. I want to do a massive purge of all our belongings every time we receive orders to move, but I also know that bringing those few items that mean "home" does really make a difference. Funny how that is. Hugs to you.
Laura, thanks for sharing your heart as you "move" into this new season of uprooting. Love you!
I guess we are eerily in sync... I am taking my coffee jars with the sealing snap lids to Thailand! A bit of the familiar isn't too terrible...:-) No one could ever accuse us of being too attached to "stuff". But a few little things with meaning are good. Bit by bit..., here we go! And good for you to have posted something again!
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